Posts Tagged ‘desperate heteros’

Real conversation I heard last night on a mainstream popular radio station:

Host (female): “So, the question is, how do you make a guy feel bad about the break up? We need a guy’s opinion. I’ve got Kevin on the line. Hey Kevin.”

Kevin: “How ya doin’, Candy.” [Not her real name.]

Host: “So, Kevin, the break up’s happened and you want to make the guy feel guilty. What do you think’s the best way to go about it?”

Kevin: [who has a nice Texas drawl and a speck of sense] “Well, I mean, if he’s been a real jerk, you should just find a way to tell him, straight up, how you feel about. So, like, if you’re at an event together, and there’s a moment when you see each other, just lay it on the line: ‘Hey, I’ve been wantin’ to talk to ya for a long time and this is how you made me feel.’ We guys shouldn’t be able to get out of how something we did affected someone else.”

[I’m skipping the weird exchange about how everyone knows that women like to stage stealth, post-break up appearances at places the ex-boyfriend used to hang out.]

Host: “Okay, so just be direct. We shouldn’t, like, just ignore you and act like we’re having a great time?”

Kevin: “Definitely not. I mean, if you’re having a good time, don’t let a guy take that away from you, but don’t put on an act; that’s just going to get our guard up.”

Host: “Alright, thanks, Kevin. Greg’s on the line. Hey, Greg. So if there’s been a break up and we really want to make the guy feel bad, should we write a letter, or, you know, send angry texts?”

Greg: “Whatever you do, don’t send emails and texts with guilt trips. Aggression just breeds more aggression. That’s just going go put him against you. The best way to go, actually, is attack yourself.”

Host: “Yeah, What do you mean?”

Greg: “If you attack yourself, we can’t attack you. So start with what you maybe did wrong, and that gives the guy a chance to respond with what maybe he did.”

Host: “Oh, ok, so don’t blame him right off. Take some of the blame and maybe he’ll own up to it. But do you think it helps if we see the guy and just ignore him, like he’s not there?”

Greg: “Well, don’t lie. There’s no point in lying.”

Host [Laughing uncomfortably, like, ‘man do guys live in a different world’]: “So, just be direct. Okay…”

Candy Ass (Definition): The direct opposite of a mooj. A Candy Ass plays games, especially stupid, petty Mars-versus-Venus games like fake happy and silent treatment, refuses to grow up, acts like her only power comes through manipulation and posturing, and is so ubiquitous that she gets to have a radio show at 9 p.m., 105.9, on a Wednesday night. Sadly, the world supports Candy Ass behavior, because it’s more comfortable for a lot of people to see women small, desperate, faking it, and groveling.

Down with Candy Ass, up with Mooj.


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